The Psychology of Money: 10 Ways to Spot a Liar Who Wants Your Money

There’s a lot of snakes out there trying to get your hard earned cash.  How can you tell if someone’s scamming you or not?

Web MD interviewed “JJ Newbury, a trained federal agent skilled in the art of deception detection to find out.”

He offered these 10 tips.  Here’s an appended version of the article.  You can read the complete article here.

Tip No. 1: Inconsistencies

“When you want to know if someone is lying, look for inconsistencies in what they are saying,” says Newberry, who was a federal agent for 30 years and a police officer for five.

Tip No. 2: Ask the Unexpected

“About 4% of people are accomplished liars and they can do it well,” says Newberry.

Tip No. 3: Gauge Against a Baseline

“One of the most important indicators of dishonesty is changes in behavior,” says Maureen O’Sullivan, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of San Francisco. “You want to pay attention to someone who is generally anxious, but now looks calm. Or, someone who is generally calm but now looks anxious.”

The trick, explains O’Sullivan, is to gauge their behavior against a baseline. Is a person’s behavior falling away from how they would normally act? If it is, that could mean that something is up.

Tip No. 4: Look for Insincere Emotions

“Most people can’t fake smile,” says O’Sullivan. “The timing will be wrong, it will be held too long, or it will be blended with other things. Maybe it will be a combination of an angry face with a smile; you can tell because their lips are smaller and less full than in a sincere smile.”

These fake emotions are a good indicator that something has gone afoul.

Tip No. 5: Pay Attention to Gut Reactions

“People say, ‘Oh, it was a gut reaction or women’s intuition,’ but what I think they are picking up on are the deviations of true emotions,” O’Sullivan tells WebMD.

While an average person might not know what it is he’s seeing when he thinks someone isn’t being honest and attribute his suspicion to instinct, a scientist would be able to pinpoint it exactly — which leads us to tip no. 6.

Tip No. 6: Watch for Microexpressions

When Joe Schmo has a gut feeling, Paul Ekman, a renowned expert in lie detection, sees microexpressions.

“A microexpression is a very brief expression, usually about a 25th of a second, that is always a concealed emotion,” says Ekman, PhD, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California Medical School in San Francisco.

“Almost everyone — 99% of those we’ve tested in about 10,000 people — won’t see them,” says Ekman. “But it can be taught.”

Tip No. 7: Look for Contradictions

“The general rule is anything that a person does with their voice or their gesture that doesn’t fit the words they are saying can indicate a lie,” says Ekman. “For example, this is going to sound amazing, but it is true. Sometimes when people are lying and saying, ‘Yes, she’s the one that took the money,’ they will without knowing it make a slight head shake ‘no.’ That’s a gesture and it completely contradicts what they’re saying in words.”

Tip No. 8: A Sense of Unease

“When someone isn’t making eye contact and that’s against how they normally act, it can mean they’re not being honest,” says Jenn Berman, PhD, a psychologist in private practice. “They look away, they’re sweating, they look uneasy … anything that isn’t normal and indicates anxiety.”

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The Psychology of Money: Economic Survivor Syndrome

It wasn’t the first and it won’t be the last, layoff I’ve survived.

It was one of those small,”under the radar” types.  6 great hard-working people, all great at what they do.  I’m sure they’re scratching their heads right now, puzzled, hurt and angry at what happened.

As a layoff survivor, I’m also shaken.  I cared about these people.  Why them and not me?  Will I be next?

Keith Ablow, a noted psychiatrist and author of the book, Living the Truth, published a great article in my local newspaper today that addresses this issue.  I thought I’d share it in its entirety with you here.

Weathering Economic Survivor Syndrome

Living the Truth
Dr. Keith Ablow

With the economy under siege and mass layoffs around the country, men and women are sharing with me symptoms of depression and anxiety clearly triggered by job loss. Never before in my 16 years of practice have I seen so many people so shaken by joining the ranks of the unemployed, with all the challenges that presents to their self-esteem and confidence in the future.

I am also hearing from others who still have their jobs, but are clearly suffering the effects of what has been called “survivor syndrome” in the workplace. Witnessing layoffs of valued colleagues, they aren’t feeling relief or a sense of having triumphed over adversity. Rather, they feel as if they have little control over their futures, regardless of how well they perform.

They have a sense of impending doom that the next downsizing will include them. And many actually feel deeply troubled — even guilty — that co-workers have lost their jobs while they have kept theirs, almost as though, by staying aboard, they have sanctioned the firings themselves.

Indeed, recognized symptoms of survivor syndrome in the workplace include less motivation to excel at one’s job, a lack of trust in management, reduced loyalty to the organization and feeling like it might be better if the whole company were to perish all at once.

The roots of survivor syndrome sometimes lie in one’s life history. Seeing sudden distress in others can reawaken feelings of sadness, helplessness and anger attached to earlier life events, like sudden illness in a sibling or a treasured childhood friend suddenly moving out of state. But our vulnerability to the syndrome is ultimately connected to our wonderful human capacity to empathize with the plight of others.

Here are a few keys to overcoming survivor syndrome:

Realize that it’s unlikely anyone in the organization — including top managers — is eager to cut jobs or is unaffected by economic stress. There’s no bad guy to hate.

Focus on what you can do to make the workplace cohesive and to comfort those who remain on the job.

Reach out to see how colleagues you care about who lost jobs are doing, a week or a month later. They’ll appreciate it, and you’ll be showing yourself and them that camaraderie doesn’t haven’t to dissolve when a company downsizes.

¢¢¢

Keith Ablow, MD, is a psychiatrist, best-selling author, Fox News Contributor and founder of www.LivingtheTruth.com. He lives in Newbury. His column is reprinted from New York Post. Contact him at info@keithablow.com.

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The Psychology of Money - Are You a Multitasking Maniac? Is it a Good Thing, or a Bad Thing?

Here’s an example:

I was talking on my cell phone while I was checking my e-mail while I was watching the latest episode of Days of Our Lives I’d taped and, oops, here comes a text message, picture attached…did someone say video game?

Not such an atypical scene for most teenagers, and possibly for some adults.

Where I play the multitasking game is at work.  At work, time is money.  Or, more specifically, my time is the company’s money.  So the more efficient I can be, the more profitable the company will be.

What’s my job?  I do technical support for a biotech firm.  This means I have to answer the phone, which rings constantly, throughout the day.  And I have to also check e-mails with every “ding, you’ve got mail!”  This is because the big ticket in technical support is response time.   Be there or be square.  Of course, I also have ongoing projects to do in my “free time.”  Is your job like that?  I’m changing gears constantly.

This used to be considered the way to go.  If you could juggle 3 or 4 projects a day and take all your incoming phone calls and e-mails you’d be the cat’s meow.

Not anymore.

I googled “Multitasking Makes You Stupid” and got 74, 800 hits.

Why didn’t I know this?!

It wasn’t until my spouse showed me a recent article in an educationer’s magazine entitled “You Say Multitasking Like It’s a Good Thing?” by Charles J. Abate, that I realized my supposed proficiency at switching gears was actually “making me stupid” and slowing me down.

Abate found that a number of recent neurophysiological studies refute 3 basic myths believed about multitasking.  Here’s the myths Abate outlines, with a little piece of the scientific evidence refuting each claim:

Myth # I:  Multitasking saves time.

Meyer et al. proved that, much like a computer’s microprocessor, our brains are “unable to perform two conceptual tasks literally simultaneously.”  He did this by monitoring MRI’s of peoples brains while they were switching tasks.  He found that switching tasks created a bottleneck in the thought process while the brain was relocating “where it had left off” with the other tasks.  So, in actuality, it takes us longer to perform  tasks when we do more than one at a time.

Myth # II:  Multitasked learning is as good as single-task learning.

Knowlton et al., and others, have found that multitasked learning takes place in a different area of the brain than single task learning.  This area of the brain focuses more on “habitual - or procedural - learning” than “declarative learning.”  Declarative learning is a much more efficient way to learn.  Knowledge gained through habitual learning is less accessable, and less capable of being organized or manipulated.

Myth # III:  Multitasking is the forte of the young.

Studies showed that those in the 35-39 year age bracket performed given tasks while being periodically interupted with equal speed to 17-21 years olds.

So, do you talk on your cell phone and put on your make-up while driving?

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Psychology of Money - The Negotiation Tango

Negotiating the best price for a purchase can be stressful and time consuming.

Yet certain purchases must be negotiated.  Your home and car are the first that come to mind.  Vacation packages and home heating oil are others.

Following a few simple rules can save you hundreds or even thousands of dollars in the long run.

-When making a purchase -

The November 1st issue, Family Circle says that it all boils down to memorizing a few key phrases:

• “Can you do any better on the price?”
• “It’s nice, but I can take it or leave it.”
• “I’ve seen this elsewhere for less.”
• “What would you take if I paid cash?”
• “Any quantity or package discounts?”
• “Can you throw in the shipping?”

Here’s a few tips of my own I’ve picked up over the years:

• Be patient.  If you don’t feel like you’re paying what the item is worth, don’t buy it.  Unless the item is something truly unique, they’ll always be another house or a another car.  A hasty decision is one you could regret later.
• Strip yourself of emotion and deal only in facts.  Salesmen are usually very likable people!  Don’t pay more because you like them!
• Do your homework before you go shopping.  Know pricing for the item you want before you head out.
• Leverage your assets.  For example, if you’re if you’re in the market to purchase a new home, and currently rent, you have an advantage over another potential buyer that currently owns their hame, and will need to sell it.

- Inspirational quotes on the art of negotiating -

“The go-between wears out a thousand sandals.”  Japanese Proverb

“My father said: “You must never try to make all the money that’s in a deal. Let the other fellow make some money too, because if you have a reputation for always making all the money, you won’t have many deals.”  J. Paul Getty

“In a negotiation, he who cares less, wins.”  Unknown

And my favorite:

“I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.”  J. Wellington Wimpy in the cartoon, Popeye.

The Psychology of Money - Neuropsychologists Study Spending Patterns at Auctions

Auctions can be as addictive as gambling.  If you’ve ever been caught up in a bidding frenzy, and then paid too much for an item, you know what I mean. Auctioneers love it.  E-bay loves it.  They keep the frenzied pace up, and watch their profits grow.

Until recently, economics behaviorists could only theorize why people repeatedly overbid at auctions.  They thought it might be risk aversion, or the joy of winning.

But now neuropsychologists are taking the new science of brain imagery and mapping the neurocircuits of bidders during the bidding process.

The study, published in the September 26th issue of Science, involved monitoring  patterns of brain activation while people were bidding, using a new technology called functional magnetic resonance (fMRI) .  These patterns were compared to those brain patterns of people playing a lottery game.  In both games you could win money, but the auction bidding was competitive, while the lottery game was not.

“An examination of activation in the striatum, part of the brain’s reward circuitry, showed the primary difference when winning or losing in the auction vs. lottery games was an exaggerated response to losses in the auction game. The magnitude of this exaggerated loss response in the striatum during the auction game correlated with the tendency to overbid, suggesting the intriguing hypothesis that perhaps the prospect of losing the social competition inherent in an auction may lead people to bid “too high.”

Other follow-up experiments, using more standardized types of economic analysis, confirmed that it isn’t either risk aversion, or the joy of winning, which stimulates brain circuitry during the over bidding process, but the fear of losing in a competitive social situation.

What does this mean to you?

Being aware of “the need to win” while bidding in an auction is the first step in maintaining control during the bidding process.  Keep this in mind as you raise your hand to the auctioneer’s frenzied prodding for a higher bid, or enter that bid on e-bay.  Is the item worth it?  If you’re unsure, refrain.

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The Psychology of Money: Competing with Sociopaths

Richard worked late into the night to meet the deadline on his project.  Getting it in on time would mean a sure promotion. After busting his back for the last year, he well deserved it.

But little did Richard know that his bid for the coveted account manager’s position had already been discretely derailed.  Seems that his colleague,Tom, also wanted the position, and had no scruples about how he would get it.   When he started dating the bosses’ daughter, Marjorie,  six months ago, everyone thought it was an unlikely match.  Tom was handsome, charming, and always on the go, where Marjorie was more introverted, with a few close friends.  The whirlwind courtship led to a quick marriage.  Tom talked Marjorie into eloping with him.

And when the coveted marketing position was finally filled, it went to the bosses’ son-in-law, Tom.

No one was surprised when Tom started having extra-marital affairs. But they were surprised when, five years later, he was caught funneling money out of the company and into a foreign bank account.  In custody, and facing up to 10 years in prison, Tom underwent psychological testing, where it was determined that he was a sociopath.

As many as one in twenty-five of us are sociopaths, claims Martha Stout, a Boston psychiatrist teaching at Harvard University.  In her book,The Sociopath Next Door, she describes them as “someone displaying at least three of seven distinguishing characteristics, such as deceitfulness, impulsivity and a lack of remorse. Such people often have a superficial charm, which they exercise ruthlessly in order to get what they want.”  Manipulative, generally extremely intelligent and cunning, the sociopath is often successful, usually at the sacrifice of others.

They may be head of a street gang, a drug dealer, in organized crime, or a successful businessman or politian.  Often, however, their success is built on fabrications and embellishments.  Like a house of cards, eventually the stories become inconsistent, and the cards come tumbling down.  But not before many people have fell victim to the sociopath’s escapades.

According to the American Psychiatric Association, to be diagnosed as a sociopath, a person must exhibit three or more of the following characteristics:

1. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;
2. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;
3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;
4. Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;
5. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others;
6. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;
7. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.

How do you protect yourself from the “Toms” out there?

Here are some common characteristics to watch out for, as listed in a number of psychology references:

• Persistent lying or stealing
• Recurring difficulties with the law
• Tendency to violate the rights and boundaries of others
• Substance abuse
• Aggressive, often violent behavior; prone to getting involved in fights
• A persistent agitated or depressed feeling (dysphoria)
• Inability to tolerate boredom
• Disregard for the safety of self or others
• A childhood diagnosis of conduct disorders - this is not a symptom but “a history of”
• Lack of remorse, related to hurting others
• Superficial charm
• Impulsiveness
• A sense of extreme entitlement
• Inability to make or keep friends
• Recklessness, impulsivity
• difficulties with authority figures

It’s hard not to be a little paranoid after reading about these personality types.

Don’t be paranoid, but be watchful.  Be smart.  Don’t let your emotions cloud your observations of a person.    The cause may be genetic, and/or it may be environmental.

Whatever.  These people are out there.

Facts are facts.

The Psychology of Money: The Power of Suggestion Can Cost You

A variety of psychological and marketing studies have shown that when American’s pay more for something, it becomes more valuable to them - whether the product is really more valuable or not. Here’s some examples:

Medicine

–John Grohol, in his book, Predicably Irrational, describes a case study where

“the cost of a pain pill was directly related to pain relief experienced by people taking the pill. A $2.50 pill relieved more pain, subjectively measured, as opposed to the $0.10 pill (even though both were the exact same pill).”

He also found that those taking name-brand medications nearly always felt it was much more effective than the equivalent generic version. Yet by law, generics must be manufactured exactly as the name brand.

In other medical studies, the placebo effect has been well documented. Patients see marked improvements in their health by taking nothing more than an inert substance. In the early 1800’s it was an actual form of treatment. Doctors gave patients suffering great pain sugar pills, but told them it was pain medicine. The patients almost always felt better after taking the pills.

This unorthodox practice would never be allowed today, but recent studies have found that doctors who have been the target of pharmaceutical marketing campaigns believe one drug will be more effective than another, when in fact, it may not be.

Wine

–The California Institute of Technology found that when consumers were served two identical bottles of wine, one priced at $90 dollars and the other at $10 dollars, the $90 dollar bottle was nearly always chosen as the better tasting wine. A similar study was conducted by the Stanford Business School with identical results.

Athletics

“Forty-two “team sport” athletes were recruited to perform a series of 30-meter sprints. After collecting baseline times, the athletes were given 200 mg of cornstarch in a gelatin capsule, but, they were told that it was an ergogenic substance and would likely improve their sprint times. Twenty minutes after taking the capsule, the athletes repeated the sprints. Performance was indeed better after the athletes ingested the cornstarch placebo (Beedie CJ, et al. 2007).”

Pepsi or Coke?

If you grew up in the 1970’s like me, you might recall the famous John Belushi “No Coke, Pepsi” routine on Saturday Night Live. Whenever a customer tried to order a Coke, Belushi would reply, as only John Belushi could, “No Coke, Pepsi.” This hilarious satirical look at the Coke and Pepsi marketing battle - among other things - was a regular skit spot for a number of seasons.

Clearly, marketing and sales campaigns take advantage of the power of suggestion. How do we protect ourselves from buying things we don’t really want or need?

In many ways, we can’t.

The manipulative effect can be so strong, yet so unconscious, that we don’t even know it’s happening.

What you can do: The sooner you become aware of the marketing tactic, the sooner you can extract yourself from its control. To that end, we must continually strive to bring our unconscious into our conscience.

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How Well Do You Deal With Change?

Dramatic changes in your life can be stressful, reeking havoc not only with your life, but with your health as well. It’s not the changes themselves that causes health issues, but your reaction to these changes.

This diagram provides a nice overview.

Stress

Mental Anguish

Physical Response (fight or flight hormones released at chronic levels)

Illness

Let’s look at these steps in more detail.

Causes of Stress

Four general categories of stressors were outlined by Dr. Hans Selye, considered the father of stress, in the 1950s:

• Physical (poor diet, unhealthy lifestyle, wear and tear on the body)
• Mental (negative self-talk, information overload, academic pressure)
• Psychological (trauma, emotional stressors)
• Environmental (noise, pollution, toxins, traffic, overcrowding)

In 1967, Drs. Holmes and Rahe developed the Holmes Stress Point Assessment Scale (see Table I.) According to Holmes,

“The values [on the scale] show the relative impact of stressful events…and give some indication (and the list is by no means complete) of the wide range of stresses in our lives which may lead to possible health risks.”

Here’s an example of what stress can feel like:

Say you’re on the roof of a twenty story building (A) with your supervisor. There is another identical twenty story building (B) across the street. Your supervisor lays a 4 inch wide beam across the span between the two buildings, and asks you to walk across to building B.

Suddenly, you’re not feeling so well. You do your best to avoid hearing his request.

Then, you make a break towards the door leading to the stairs and your escape from what is sure to be a fatal crossing, only to stop short. Flames are bursting from the stairwell - building A is on fire!

It’s just not your day.

Do you attempt to cross to the other building on the beam, or stay on top of a burning building?

This is what change can feel like. It’s scary and risky going forward, but you can’t go back.

Response to Stressors

Mentally:

After identifying the stressors in your life over the past year on the Holmes Scale in Table I, ask yourself the following questions, developed by the Learning Center at The University of Texas at Austin.

“Yes” answers to these questions can be an indicator of mental reactions which may lead to harmful physical responses.

1. Do you worry about the future?
2. Do you sometimes have trouble falling asleep?
3. Do you often reach for a cigarette, a drink or tranquilizer in order to reduce tension?
4. Do you become irritated over basically insignificant matters?
5. Do you have less energy than you seem to need or would like to have?
6. Do you have too many things to do and not enough time to do them?
7. Do you have headaches or stomach problems?
8. Do you feel pressure to accomplish or get things done?
9. Are you very concerned about being either well-liked or successful?

Physically:

How does your body respond to these stressors? Chemicals in your brain are released as part of your “flight or fight” response. Under normal crisis situations, these chemicals can save your life - giving you the adrenalin to get you moving quickly. But at low chronic levels of release, they’re harmful in a variety of ways.

In fact, the American Institute on Stress (AIS) lists fifty possible physical responses to stress. Some of the most common are shown in this diagram:

What You Can Do

As outlined in my recent article “Debt Can Ruin Your Health in More Ways Than One :”

If you’re experiencing any of the above symptoms, whether it be caused by debt, or caused by other stress related factors in your life, there are actions you can take to ease the pain:

• Cut out coffee and other caffeinated beverages.
• Exercise. You don’t have to run a marathon. Go for a walk, or wash the kitchen floor. If you’re more energetic, try a yoga class, or join the local gym.
• Meditate. I hate this one, never do it, but many are successful at it, and I hear it works wonders.
• Breathe. Often during a stressful situation, people “forget” to breathe. Consciously reminding yourself to do it can keep the oxygen flowing to your brain, and have a surprisingly calming effect. Slow, comfortable, deep breathes.
• Get Enough Sleep. A good night’s sleep can do wonders for the psyche. This can be a tough one to manage, especially if your worry genes are working in overdrive, or your burning the candle at both ends with an extra job.
• Reframing. One of the most powerful stress reducers, “reframing is changing the way you look at things so you can feel better about them.” e.g. - keep the cup half full rather than half empty.
• Keep your expectations realistic. or as my father used to say, “you can’t get water from a stone.”
• Make sure you take some time off. If you burn yourself out, you’ll only make matters worse. Strive to maintain balance in your life.

You may also want to check out another article “Having a Bad Hair Day? Four Stress-Relieving Tips.”

What are some ways you ease stress?

Table I: Holmes Stress Point Scale: Adult Assessment

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Debt Can Ruin Your Health In More Ways Than One

People with newly acquired extreme debt also reported having a higher percentage of stress induced illnesses than those without extreme debt.

A recently conducted AP-AOL Health Poll found that:

• 27 percent had ulcers or digestive tract problems, compared with 8 percent of those with low levels of debt stress.
• 44 percent had migraines or other headaches, compared with 15 percent.
• 29 percent suffered severe anxiety, compared with 4 percent.
• 23 percent had severe depression, compared with 4 percent.
• 6 percent reported heart attacks, double the rate for those with low debt stress.
• More than half, 51 percent, had muscle tension, including pain in the lower back. That compared with 31 percent of those with low levels of debt stress.

These people also reported having “more trouble focusing and sleeping,” and were also more likely to fly off the handle without provocation.

What you can do:

If you’re experiencing any of the above symptoms, whether it be caused by debt, or caused by other stress related factors in your life, there are actions you can take to ease the pain:

• Cut out coffee and other caffeinated beverages.
• Exercise. You don’t have to run a marathon. Go for a walk, or wash the kitchen floor. If you’re more energetic, try a yoga class, or join the local gym.
• Meditate. I hate this one, never do it, but many are successful at it, and I hear it works wonders.
• Breathe. Often during a stressful situation, people “forget” to breathe. Consciously reminding yourself to do it can keep the oxygen flowing to your brain, and have a surprisingly calming effect. Slow, comfortable, deep breathes.
• Get Enough Sleep. A good night’s sleep can do wonders for the psyche. This can be a tough one to manage, especially if your worry genes are working in overdrive, or your burning the candle at both ends with an extra job.
• Reframing. One of the most powerful stress reducers, “reframing is changing the way you look at things so you can feel better about them.” e.g. - keep the cup half full rather than half empty.
• Keep your expectations realistic. or as my father used to say, “you can’t get water from a stone.”
• Make sure you take some time off. If you burn yourself out, you’ll only make matters worse. Strive to maintain balance in your life.

If this interests you, you may also want to check out “Having a Bad Hair Day? Four Stress-Relieving Tips.”

What are some ways you ease stress?

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The Power of Persuasion: Eight Strategies for Getting Exactly What You Want

Whether you’re a salesman, a supervisor, a computer programmer, or a stay at home mom, the art of persuasion can be a key element to your success at work, and, indeed, in many aspects of your life.

“Persuasion is a key element of all human interaction, from politics to marketing to everyday dealings with friends, family and colleagues. “Persuasion is a basic form of social interaction,” says Eric Knowles, emeritus professor of psychology at the University of Arkansas in Fayetteville. “It is the way we build consensus and a common purpose.”

The New Scientist recently compiled a comprehensive collection of scientific studies designed to determine the best persuasive techniques for getting exactly what you want. These were the top eight.

1) Be a Mimic.

Good salesmen have always known it, but recently a number of studies have shown conclusively that subtly mimicking someone’s mannerisms - such as head and arm movements, and posture - can be a very persuasive technique.

Just don’t get caught! It’s also infuriating to the receiver, should they figure out what you’re doing.

“The crucial factors are: be subtle, leave a delay and, whatever you do, if you think there’s even the slightest chance you’ve been rumbled, stop.”

2) Practice framing.

A favorite technique of spin doctors, “framing is about leading people to think about an issue or opinion in a way that is advantageous to you,” explains George Bizer of Union College in Schenectady, New York. “For example, opponents of inheritance taxes prefer to frame them as ‘death taxes’.”

Negative images have a more powerful influence than positive ones. If you want someone to vote for McCain, show Obama in a negative light. That’s why, as much as politicians deny they want to do negative campaigning

3) Sometimes less is more.

Contrary to what you would think, studies suggest that if you want someone to agree with you, ask them to think of no more than three good reasons why they also support your idea. But don’t ask them to think up more than that.

Studies show that the easier it is for people to come up with ideas supporting you, the more positive they will feel about it. And it is easier to think up three ideas rather than ten ideas.
So, instead of saying, “give me all the reasons you can think of,”say “give me one good reason you can think of that this idea will work.

4) Wear them down.

People will give in more easily when they are tired, hungry, or mentally exhausted, and you’ll have a better chance of getting what you want.

Conversely, don’t go buying a new car on an empty stomach, or after a long week of work, when you’re exhausted.

5) Use the best communication medium for the situation.

It was found that during same-sex interactions, women tend to be more easily influenced during face-to-face communication than by e-mail.

For men who have previously met in person to debate the point, it is the opposite. Men who have never met will negotiate about the same whether by e-mail or face-to-face.

Researchers theorize that this is because, in general, women tend to be more communal, while men are more competitive and independent. If they have met once for negotiations, they will be even more competitive at their next face-to-face .
Studies have not yet been done on opposite-sex interactions.

6) Style over substance.

Often, unconsciously, people listen to tone and body language more than actual words.

So, at its best,acting confident and comfortable about your subject can win you supporters, regardless of what you say.

At its worst, this is the con man’s game. During college many years ago, I had a part time job at a self service gas station. One customer had me so confused that, by the time he left the station, not only hadhe gotten a free tank of gas, I had given him an extra eight dollars in change!

7) Use Anger.

Different types of emotion, such as fear or guilt, are often used as tools of persuasion. But these don’t always work, because people start to feel manipulated, and they become tired of being judged.

But anger is different. It’s empowering. The emotion is focused on someone or something else instead of internally. A good example of this is with groups, such as GreenPeace or The Human Rights Campaign. The leaders of these groups use anger as a way to unite people for a good cause.

Dealing with resistance.

If someone feels like they’re being manipulated or pushed in a certain direction, they’ll increase their resistance to being pursuaded. Often they’ll become even more entrenched in their old beliefs. Also, ” if people resist good arguments presented by an expert, they conclude their own arguments must be even stronger.”

This can create a difficult situation. The best way to deal with this is to “take smaller steps to your final goal, when presenting your argument, so that you are more aligned with the person’s own beliefs.” Also boost the other person’s self esteem. When people feel good about themselves, they are more open to change.

Have any thoughts on this?

• Micro Persuasion Image via CrunchBase Steve Rubel at Edelman Digital -Best Links Available Steve Rubel is a public relations executive and blogger. While with the firm CooperKatz...

Having a Bad Hair Day? Four Stress-Relieving Tips

I worry more than your average Joe.

And financial fear, above all, gives me ulcers. If my company has a bad quarter, I’m waiting for the pink slip. If the market’s having a bad day, I’m planning jobs I can do when I’m 85, to compensate for my nosediving 401K .

Here’s a few actions I take to keep my stress level down-

1) Stay Proactive- When I stop moving, and start ruminating, I’m in trouble. I’m wearing my “Victim Queen” t-shirt, and it feels good for a while, then I feel out of control and helpless.

This visual helps me get back to a proactive place:

Stephen Covey’s Circle of Influence.*

• Proactive people focus their time and energy on their Circle of Influence - things they can control.
• Reactive People focus their time and energy on the Circle of Concern - things they can not control.

*, from his classic self-help book, “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.”
I know my head is in the circle of concern when I start eating Tums like M&Ms. I’m going nowhere fast. Not good.

2) Remember that “perfection is not just elusive, it is an illusion. ” **
**Unitarian Minister, Henry Babcock

I wish I could see into the future, but I haven’t developed that seventh sense yet. I’m never going to know what the next day holds. My key to good planning is that it evolves and grows as I get new information. Knowing I can proactively adjust to accommodate new occurrences takes a tremendous amount of pressure off.

3) “And control is an illusion, too.”** There’s that old prayer from somewhere (any one know?):

“God,
Grant Me the Serenity to Accept the Things I Can Not Change,
the Courage to Change the Things I Can,
and the Wisdom to Know the Difference.”

Kind of corny but, hey, it works.

And lastly,

4) Turn your mind off. I do it with exercise, and writing this blog. Many people meditate, or have a hobby. When I give my head a break, I’m calmer, more at peace, and ultimately, stronger to deal.

What are some ways you handle stress?

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The Psychology of Money: Low Self-Esteem is Like Driving Through Life With Your Hand-Brake On

So said Maxwell Maltz, author of the classic visualization book, Psycho-Cybernetics.

One proven technique for overcoming low self-esteem, and other defeatist thoughts that inhibit our success in life, like identification with failure, or poverty mentality, is a tool known as visualization.

The visualization techniques I’m about to describe were developed by a Jewish holocaust survivor and physician, Dr. Victor Frankl. Living in concentration camps during World War II, he watched his entire family perish. He credits these visualization tools to his own survival.

In the 1960s, the techniques were further refined by Maxwell Maltz. Maltz was a plastic surgeon specializing in corrective surgery for birth defects. He found that, after surgery, many of his patients still saw themselves negatively. Teaching these people visualization techniques became part of his practice.

These techniques laid the groundwork for self-improvement teachers such as Tony Robbins.

The object of visualization is to adapt old learned behaviors to behaviors better suited to the present.

For example, say your first experiences driving a car were in the summer. You get your license, and have become a very good driver. Now, it’s winter, and you suddenly find yourself driving in a snow storm on ice, and skidding into a tree. What happened? The breaking techniques that worked in the summer don’t work in slippery conditions. So you hit the tree. Now, you can keep hitting a tree every time it snows, or you can adjust your braking technique to better navigate the ice, by incorporating what you have learned. And, of course you do.

Unfortunately, not all behavioral changes are so simple. Many thought processes have become not just habitual, but totally entrenched in our minds through repetitive stimulation of specific neuronal synaptic paths.

To undo this learning, you need to combat these habitual patterns with equally powerful habitual thinking.

Since you can’t do this in real life, you imagine these new behaviors in your mind.

Through repetitively imagining what you want, you readjust your habitual thought patterns to better relate to the present.

You do this by:

• Creative Mental Picturing,
• Creatively experiencing success through your imagination, and
• Formation of new automatic reaction patterns.

I find the process relatively simple, and, once mastered, it can be practiced easily, while falling asleep, or even exercising.

Practice your visualizations in the morning and in the evening. Forget about them during the day. The changes, when they occur, should feel effortless, a newly incorporated part of you.

To describe how the techniques work, here’s an example:

Think of Tiger Woods. Tiger will play an entire golf course in his mind, hole by hole, before a tournament. He’ll imagine every shot in vivid detail, successfully moving through his virtual golf course a winner. Each evening, after play has completed, he’ll re-play his bad shots over successfully in his mind on his virtual golf course. He’ll adjust for all of his mistakes - how he’s positioned his feet, or turned his wrist - and also recreate as much detail in his visualization as possible - the color of the grass and sky, the texture of the handle of his club.

This technique has proven so powerful that it is part of many professional team regimens.

I have a library of self-help books that would knock your socks off. Some books stay, some books go, but Maxwell Maltz’s Psycho Cybernetics - is at the heart of it. It’s rated #34 in the Top 50 Classic Self Help Books.

We all want to be successful.

Your mind is the most powerful tool you have to create your success.

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The Psychology of Money: Which Money Personality Do You Identify With?

Dr. Kathleen Gurney, CEO of the Financial Psychology Corporation, believes that each of us falls into one of nine money personalities. Each type has its own strengths and weaknesses. By understanding the strengths and weaknesses of your type, you can optimize your financial planning to a style that fits you.

Do you see yourself in any one of these?

(Text by Dr. Gurney, pictures added by moi.)

ENTREPRENEURS: The most male-dominated profile, driven by a passion for excellence and commitment, which helps them achieve their goals. Despite being the highest income earners, they are workaholics who are not motivated by money alone (it is used as a scorecard to measure their achievements). They enjoy the power and prestige money brings. They are proud and reward themselves with the best cars, homes, wines, etc. Investing in the stock market is their favored strategy.

HIGH ROLLERS: Money presents infinite possibilities. They are thrill seekers who enjoy the ride of financial risk but are only mildly interested in where it takes them. They seek power. Money brings them instant powerand recognition. They are creative, extroverted, competitive. They work hard and play hard; for them, money is an emotional release. They prefer to risk their assets rather than sit back bored by financial security. If they do not learn how to manage their styles, they end up with low pride and contentment.

HUNTERS: Usually highly educated, with a live-for-today financial style. They are often women and average- to above-average income earners who make purchasing decisions with their hearts, not with their heads. They use impulsive spending as a way they reward themselves. They have a strong work ethic, like the Entrepreneurs, but lack the Entrepreneurs’ confidence. They attribute success to luck rather than ability and judgment. Once they understand their traits, they can make dramatic financial progress.

ACHIEVERS: These are the second-highest income earners, usually college graduates and mostly married. They feel work, diligence and effort will pay off better than anything else. They are proud of their accomplishments, but tend to distrust others’ honesty with money. They are conservative and not interested in risking assets they have worked hard to accumulate. Protection is a primary consideration. Being take-charge types, they have a strong need to control their money.

MONEY MASTERS: They balance their finances with the degree of contentment and security they derive from their money. They are the No. 1 wealth accumulators even though they don’t necessarily earn the most. They rank first in degree of desired involvement with their money and enjoy participation. They trust the recommendations of others and act on sound advice. Pure luck has little chance here. Success through determination is their philosophy.

PERFECTIONISTS: They are so afraid of making a mistake that they often avoid making a decision. They forever try harder, but lack self-esteem, especially about their money. They have the least pride in handling financial matters. They have tunnel vision, consider every angle and find fault with the potential of practically any risk venture. Finding suitable investments is difficult for them.

PRODUCERS: They rank high in work ethic but lower in earned income due to lack of self confidence in money management skills. This leads to some real frustrations: They work hard, desire more and feel they have difficulty getting ahead financially. Financial investment/education can be very rewarding since they often don’t understand how the money system works. They do not evaluate risks carefully and rarely profit from them. They lack confidence in making financial decisions.

OPTIMISTS: These are the people to whom money has brought peace of mind. They have the fewest anxieties and tend to be proud and content. They are the least reflective, and their money decisions are somewhat impulsive but not risk-oriented. Often in or near retirement, they are more interested in enjoying their money than making it grow. They are not highly involved with their money, taxes or investments, which could cause them stress and impinge on their enjoyment.

SAFETY PLAYERS: They score the lowest in self determination. They are average earners, and most of their money goes into safe and secure investments. They lack the confidence and motivation to reap more growth by taking more calculated risk (even though well educated). They take the path of least resistance, feel they are doing just fine, and repeat whatever investment strategies seemed to work for them before.

Dr.Gurney does money personality testing at her website, Financial Psychology.

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The Psychology of Money: “I Have to Have It”-The Impulse Purchase

“I don’t know what got into me. I just had to have it.”

How many times have we said that? What motivates impulse purchases? How can we control them?

Let’s start with the motivators-

External Impulse Buying Motivators

Easy Access- It’s easier to spend your money then ever before. ATMs, debit cards, and easy credit abounds. You don’t even need to leave your easy chair. Just turn on your computer or TV.

Targeted Marketing- Billions of dollars are spent every year competing for your money. The most motivating of all pitches? It’s still those magic words: “On Sale.” The second most motivating: “Free Shipping.”

Distractions- Studies show that the more distractions in the shopping environment, such as “music, bright colors, and incredible offers” the more impulsive shoppers will be.

Remember the KMart “Blue Light Specials? An announcement would come over the store intercom system: “ATTENTION KMART SHOPPERS!!! Look for the blue light over by…” Who could resist that? My mom and I would be off and running.

Influence of Others- Shopping with a friend is more likely to result in an impulse purchase.

Internal Impulse Buying Motivators

Shopping momentum- Get Rich Slowly recently posted on “How Shopping Momentum Leads to More Shopping” Once you make that first purchase “you’ve opened the floodgates.”

Dieting- or, more generally, controlling or giving up something else in your life, makes you more likely to make an impulse purchase. Research shows that you only have so much self control. It can be depleted by other self control efforts in your life, such as dieting or quiting smoking.

Over-Optimism- A recent study found that extreme optimism leads to more impulsive spending habits. On the other hand, “small doses of optimism can lead to wise financial decisions.”

Sadness- Increases our chances of wanting to spend as a way of making a change in our lives. A study by Lerner, Small, and Lowenstien(2004), showed that “people are more likely to sell at a lower price, or buy at a higher price.”

Personality Type- Research done by A.G. Herabadi in 2003 and others concluded that “there is …a distinct impulse buyer personality profile…Impulse buyers are more luckily to have these traits:

• lack of deliberation and planning
• unreflective in thinking
• the urge to be active
• impulsivity and anxiety due to the apprehension of making wrong decisions
• need for excitement and novelties
• the tendency to disregard possible negative consequences.

Controlling Impulse Purchases

What does all of this tell us?

Be aware of what your weaknesses are- know when you’re most susceptible to blowing your hard earned money, and stay clear of the stores (including on-line ones!)

Wait- Make a rule that you have to wait a minimum of 48 hours before making any major purchases. We all know this, but I think it bears repeating.

Leave your credit card at home- you can always come back and get the item the next day.

Set dollar limits- then you can go a little wild, but not get in over your head.

Make wallet impulse buying cards- saying things like STOP! or YOU’LL REGRET IT! It might slow you down a little.

Save your receipt- if all else fails, you can usually return those great shoes or that cool purse you had to have in the moment.

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